Let’s get real when we talk about weddings and wedding planning. While I was planning my wedding last year, I found myself on Pinterest and blogs reading anything I could to help the process, I started to feel they were all repetitive and way too much sugar coating.
My goal is to keep it real with you from tips and tricks to what obstacles to expect. It isn’t all fun and games… there are moments of major stress, tears and just being pissed!
Don’t get me wrong I LOVED planning our wedding and had a great wedding day.
Things to consider:
Wait….Check out venues before setting a date. I suggest even doing a lot of the planning before setting anything in stone. This takes the pressure off of meeting deadlines and for the indecisive bride like myself. This also helps paint a realistic picture of what your budget is actually going to look like
Budget.…. you will go over it…. even in the moments you think we will stay under… nope. I applaud you all that stayed under you first budget idea. I know before we even started planning, we had a number in mind and then we were slapped with reality. Make a list of priorities and go from there. You will read endless posts on how to save on your wedding…. they all say get a free venue…. No shit! Not everyone is so lucky to get such a hookup. I will make a whole post on venues and creative options. Stay tuned.
Think about your crowd and their budget when planning, mostly for a destination wedding and when registering for gifts. We wanted to have a co-ed wedding shower but we knew that most of our buddies did not know what to do with a registry and Alex being a chef, we really didn’t need anything. So, we had a stock the bar party, our guest brought a bottle for the bar and one for the party. It was great because we used a lot of the alcohol for the bachelorette and Bachelor party, which saved money.
Be Direct!!!! Ask for what you need and tell people what you expect. Some people won’t know what to do or how to help and they are willing but waiting for you. It may feel awkward but do it, you may be end up feeling like you are doing it all alone and stressed. I thought way too much about not wanting to bug people or ask too much of them. It is the one time you can ask your friends and family for help or tell them what you needed or expect…. it’s the bride card… use it nicely but use it!
DIY or Not: Some projects are always best DIY but there are some things that just make more sense to purchase online to save time and money.
MATH: Any time you like something then times it by how many you actually have to buy… obvious one right…. well when you see something that is great and only $1…. yay! Well, now you need a 100 of them,no longer as affordable. There are few things in weddings you only need one of.
Just don’t do it. If there is any aspect of the wedding planning or traditions you are not a fan of, just don’t do it! Weddings now are all about making your own traditions. For example, we didn’t do bouquet toss or garter toss. I just wasn’t into it. Again, a time I thought about my crowd.
Slowly but surely! You will get it all done, you will have a billion list and it will all come together!! Something I wish I did was prepare even more. If you think about it, do it. There are some aspect of the planning or getting things that I thought would be quicker and I would handle them closer to the wedding, I wish I hadn’t! Just do it early.
Options: Present options to your partner, make sure you love all those options. This way it makes your partner feel involved and you don’t have to all of sudden add some crazy aspect into the wedding because the significant other has some wild idea. Alex had full reign when it came to the cake, cake topper and food. The rest I provided options 1-5 etc and he picked from that. Some of you will have a partner that is all-in with you but, for the most part, the planning lands heavily on one person. For example, Alex wanted lime green ties and blue flowers…. yeah, no! 🙂
Enjoy it! I know, I know everyone will tell you this. There were times that I had to chill on the wedding planning and I allowed myself to. I wanted to enjoy it and not have it stress me out. I believe you are a Bride for life.
Share with me your big wedding woes or tips and tricks!
That moment when you find yourself paying for essentially a closet at another house while you spend most of your time at your boyfriend or girlfriends house. Then you have “the talk” you know that should we move in together talk?! Many things can spark this conversations but finances seem to always be on the top of the list. “It just makes more sense to live together and save money than to live separately, when we are together all the time.” I get it, half the bills and rent is really nice. Along with watching and reading about all the celebrities shacking up and playing house with their loves, it may feel like all signs point to move in together. I have been living with my boyfriend for 4 years now. I have learned a lot and figured I would share. So here are some things to think about and some heads up on how life will change. 😉
Money should not be the number one reason to move in together. It is way more expensive and a much longer process to breakup while living together. I am not saying be negative and prepare for a breakup but just be realistic. I have watched many girlfriends have to live extra days and weeks with ex’s while having to deal with leases and moving out plans. The longer you live together the move you accumulate things together… well who gets the tv? This is the time to think with your head and not your heart for a minute .
The money talk: have a conversation on what each others expectations are. Is everything 50/50, is one person better with money than the other, whose names will be on utilities and whose duty is to have them paid on time each month? Having an open conversation before hand on these topics will eliminate possible frustration on either end when the situation arises. If one person makes more than the other, does that person have expectations from the other to make it up in other areas?
Once living together you naturally find each others roles in the house. Like I am a total bathroom and bedroom cleaner and Alex is all about the kitchen and living room. Or I buy all shower products, mostly because he would use one product for everything… that is not okay, guys!!
Perks: A perk living with your love is you no longer have to do all the annoying house work. Who really likes to take the trash out… NOT ME! So, for the most part the bf takes the trash out and I dust. You also will always have someone to go home to, to have dinner with and to just be lazy with. You have a built in partner in crime,best friend your Clyde to your Bonnie all without a call or leaving your house.
Routine Adjustment: We all have our favorite little things we do that not everyone else does or even enjoys. For example I use to love waking up and getting my coffee and getting back into bed to watch the news. Well, that came to abrupt stop once Alex moved in. He usually sleeps later than me and finds it too disturbing to the TV on while he is sleeping. So I had to make a change. One thing I got him to get use to was TV before bed. He use to hate it but now I have got him to a point he likes to watch a show in bed before we fall asleep. Compromise babes!
So much stuff: When Alex moved in, I had a small heart attack because of the amount of stuff he had and how none of it was cute! My nice girly room was all of sudden taken over with BOY STUFF! I went around saying we need to eliminate this and this and this. Alex at the end of the day said “Stop eliminating all my stuff, I like it” So I grabbed the Jack Daniels rug and explained he can save it in storage for his man cave one day. Common sense when two people live together they accumulate A LOT and each person has their own belongings that they will not part with… damn squeaky computer chair… I try to have the rule , something in and something out. Make sure before moving in together there is enough space! Whose bed will you keep or dresser? Or are you both on the same page as the home decor goes. I am often told when I am decorating, ” don’t forget a MAN lives here” Things to think about…
Making Love …Handles: We have all heard of that dreaded freshman 15 pounds but what about the love chub that is gained. Lets be real, living together doesn’t help but my boyfriend is chef. When we first moved in together it was like “playing house” and you are both making everything really nice. I was making full breakfast and he was making gourmet dinners and life was great! Until all that eating caught up with me, I ended up gaining about 20 pounds and I was not feeling good about it! We grew up with different kinds of food in the house and going to the grocery store was pretty hilarious and frustrating. We would be debating about what peas were better. It’s the little things I am trying to point out in this post. I finally made a change and thankfully Alex being a chef he was able to change his cooking to Low Carb and overall a healthier lifestyle. Keep health in mind because you and your man or woman, want to be a healthy sexy babes forever.
Bad Days: We all have our moments, no matter how perfect the couple. Once you live together there is very little running away that can be done to avoid an argument. Eventually you both have to go to bed or pass one another in the the kitchen. You have to address the issue and have clear communication. Try not to pick up bad habits of going to bed angry or kicking on another out of the bed. Respect each others space at all times but especially during those heated moments. Just because you live together does not mean that you or your partner don’t need alone time or space to think.
Be a team! Being a team is the most important! Moving in together makes you two more of a team than ever before. What one person does now in many ways effects the other, from emotions to money decisions. I can’t just pick up and leave, I have myself and Alex to think about. Be each others cheerleaders and biggest supporters. Times get tough and you are essentially riding on a roller coaster trying to stay on the same track through the highs and lows of life together. Live, laugh and love together!
Feel free to leave your thoughts or advice below. Thanks for reading and follow for new posts.